Arguing with science

When I chose to make my character a vampire it was mainly to give total free reign to my fantasy. He is a vampire, they don’t exist therefore I can make him do whatever I want, right?

Not quite, you’re touching on a much used and much loved genre so there are certain myths you have to stick to. I’ve kind of stayed with the old school traits such as, sunlight, a wooden stake through the heart, and beheading kills. Cameron also has no reflection in the mirror and can’t have his picture taken. I’ve added my own slant by stating that garlic can gives a vampire a nasty rash and he can absorb language through the blood. (Hence the title)

With modern inventions we are getting on shaky ground and this has led to a few differences of opinion with my husband and my usual answer of:

                ‘He is a vampire, the laws of physics don’t apply to vampires,’ is not cutting the mustard.

I think a vampire can make a phone call but said conversation can’t be recorded. My husband launched into an explanation about sound waves and well you can’t argue with science, right?

I decided to consult the “experts”, because these days any argument is settled by the internet; and this is what the “experts” had to say on the subject:

Can they be heard over the phone?

According to Buffy the vampire slayer; the experts in modern vampires, a resounding yes. Angel too makes several phone calls in the spin off series Angel.

Can they be recorded?

According to:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OurVampiresAreDifferent 

Somewhat-common additional (mostly modern) rules for vampires are:

• Cannot be photographed or caught on video, often an extension of the "no reflection" rule. This may also be related to the silver rule; mirrors and photographic film are both (usually) made from silver.
• In Moonlight, Mick explains in a voiceover that he could not be photographed when silver was used in film, but digital cameras have changed all that.
• In the TV series Ultraviolet (unrelated to the film), the vampire hunters use sights that pretty much amount to video cameras strapped to their guns in order to tell vampire from non-vampire.
• In the anime Magical Pokaan, Pachira does not show up on a normal digital camera but is perfectly visible when viewed with an infrared camera.
• Cannot be heard over phone lines.

But according to this site my husband is right:

http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/separating-myths-from-facts-in-vampire-the-requiem.html

Vampires don't show up like normal people on camera or in mirrors: Fact. Vampires show up with their features obscured in photographic media (including video footage) and in mirrors. They can temporarily counteract this effect, but by "default," their features are obscured. The same is not true for voice recordings; vampires' voices are captured normally on voice recorders.

Luckily I came across this site where you can take a quiz to see if you are a vampire. I think the following three questions vindicate me:

http://www.armory.com/tests/vampiric.html

·  Does your reflection seem to be missing when you look in the mirror?

·  Are you invisible in photos, videos, audio tapes, or any other recording medium?

·  Can you get past electronic surveillance equipment (cameras, microphones, laser trip wires, etc.)?

I see it as follows: Cameron only exist if there is blood involved, hence a human ear can hear him but a machine can't. I also think only natural things can harm him, ea sunlight, garlic, natural drugs and wooden stakes.

I think the moral of this exercise is that regarding vampires there are no facts, only myths. I think if I don’t stray too far from the myths I can do whatever the hell I want, it seems everyone else does!

The internet part two

If you are writing a book you will often turn to the internet to check facts or look up places. I’m quite a lazy researcher as A. it takes a lot of time and I’d rather be getting on with writing and B. the truth sometimes gets in the way of a good story. If you are using historical facts they will have to be accurate. For book 2 I’ve been turning to the internet again to get answers to some important questions I’ve been asking myself:

Can vampires be tattooed?

Can vampires be recorded on audio tape?

Here are some answers to the first question I found on: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081116184120AAOdO1Ti

(The typos and misspellings etc. have nothing to do with me, I’ve copied these directly from the site) 

I do not believe they can. this question makes me think of The Vampire Lestat, where Lestat's mom Gabrielle wanted to cut her hair and look like a guy. but every day when she slept, her hair would grow back to the length it was when she died. she was very distraught about it. i imagine a tattoo would be the same, like an injury to the body that is almost immediately healed. so heres your life lessons from this: 1) make sure you properly groom yourself constantly in case you become a vampire cause you'll never get the chance to change yourself afterwards lol and 2) go ahead and get a tattoo if you are a vampire cause if yo udont like it tomorrow, it'll be gone lol

As usual there is a bit of vitriol too:

Well duh...theyre not real.There are however a lot vampires in literature,movies and surprise, mythology and folklore.Hence why this question is here.If you have nothing to contribute quite frankly don't waste your time or mine.

And the indignant souls who take it all just a bit too seriously

 Why wouldn't they be able to? The pain will obviously fade away, but the ink is another thing. The ink is like permanent skin paint, it itself is not pain and will not fade away like it would if it WAS pain. That's all their is to it(Besides the fact that vampires really DO exist).
Hope this helps.

When you read fantasy You mind becomes filled with thought of fantasy... For there is no way that any real vampire would expose itself to such danger.... And with you not really knowing what a real demonic vampire is, I can understand your question... First off there are some very serious vampire hunters that exist all over this world and they take joy in the demised of vampires.... So I seriously doubt that they would expose themselves in that manner...... When maintaining there secret is on the top of every vampires list.......

that is a very good argument. I would imagine the answer being no. But i'm not sure. I would think since they are always so clean and beautiful(since they heal so easily) that it would heal immediately but since it is ink idk? and don't some have piercings so it probably just depends on the writer or imaginer.
awesome argument though!

This is probably why I write fantasy, you can make up your own mind and do whatever you want! I’ve decided that Cameron can have his arm tattooed with a Saltire and Scotland underneath.

To my other question, I found a good answer on:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OurVampiresAreDifferent

No reflection (often because the vampire has no soul). This sometimes extends to shadows. But it depends on the vampire apparently. In one medium there are several types of vamps who have various weaknesses. In more recent examples this has been 'modernised' in terms of the vampire not being able to be picked up by audio or video recording or transmitting equipment.

Then this next snippet caught my eye. I thought this was a really fun character flaw for a vampire to have and I’m certain I will do something with that. I think that modern vampire stories sometimes take them self too serious, I can’t imagine the vampires in twilight to get distracted by having to absolutely count some spilled rice, but I would have maybe enjoyed twilight  if they did. 

Occasionally suffer from severe OCD. One folkloric method of dealing with Vampires was to drop thousands of grains of rice in their coffin, the theory being they'd be compelled to count them all when they awake, wasting the whole night instead of getting up and terrorizing people.

• The folklore version also is told with sesame seeds, and may also extend to any small, numerous nut or grain, if not any particulate (handfuls of sawdust?). Fairies also have this problem.
• Dropping a bunch where you stand is a known way to escape the OCD variant of vampire.
• A similar folklore variant involves hanging a sieve, colander, or other household item that's full of holes outside your front door. That way, the vampire will stop and count all the holes, leaving them vulnerable at sunrise. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FOUR GRAINS OF SAND! AH-HA-HA-HA!
• Apparently poppy seeds were used to great effect in Greece, as they had the additional benefit of putting the vampire to "sleep".

  Also on the OCD theme, vampires will, like fairies, be obsessed with out of place and messily-tied knots, and must stop what they're doing to untie them.

The internet, always wonderfully enlightening!